


To Turn A Page

by kyjr



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 12:12:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyjr/pseuds/kyjr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are books and stories and writing and text, and then there's him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Turn A Page

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Shige. I love you to pieces <3

All your life, you had read books about love. You had seen the movies; watched your friends nervously try to take a hold of it. You had watched your parents fail at it; seen your grandparents nestle into the comfort it seemed to provide. But you had never really understood it: never really tried to understand it.

You had given it up as some fantastical thing that would never happen to you. You preferred to stick to your books; tomes upon tomes of tiny print and yellowing pages that seemed to hold everything you needed to know. Love was something extra, it seemed. In books it was a side character to the main story, something that happened because the hero of the story was just that lucky.

You aren't lucky. You never have been. The framed four leaf clover up on your kitchen wall likes to leer down at you, keeping all it's luck for itself, or maybe for a rainy day. You have an old rusted horseshoe leaning up against some of your books, and you sometimes wonder if it's luck has rusted like the rest of it.

Your friends try to tell you that it'll come. That you're just being silly; that you've got to get out into the world and meet someone. They don't seem to want to listen to you; you don't care anymore. Let them do what they want.

You own a bookstore in the middle of a tiny town. It's petite and broken and more than a little mouldy, but you love it. It's all yours. You made it.

Your mother hates it. You don't care.

You don't get that much money from it. You don't care. It's enough to get by, and that's all you need.

It is a lonely Tuesday when he appears.

You're searching for that book about African elephants when a customer walks in. You're always a little surprised to see a customer; you're so used to being alone with your books that you sometimes forget it's a store. You tilt your head a little, as if this action would help you figure out why he was here. He doesn't look to be someone who likes books.

But people come in all shapes and sizes and so you greet him and push your glasses further up your nose. He's wearing jeans and a black cap, with big sunglasses that hide his eyes. He doesn't look like he's from this town; you think that he might be from one of those larger cities. You've never been to the bigger cities before. You pause to wonder what it's like in the shadow of all of those buildings.

He looks around for a while. You don't know where he is; he's just wandering around. You wonder if he's looking for anything specific. You continue to look through your own book - the elephant one - until he appears again, those sunglasses still on his face. He's got an old book in his hand, staring at the cover as he picks his way through the stacks of books and over to you.

He appears to keep his eyes downcast, but you can't really tell because of those sunglasses. He doesn't say much, just thanks you when you've finished tallying up the total and passes you a few notes from a rather crumpled wallet.

And then he's gone, reading the blurb of the book as he leaves, and you're alone again.

He appears again the next week, and it's funny how you remember him when you haven't bothered to remember any of your other customers. He's wearing a red cap today, but the same sunglasses, and this time he's got a long gold chain hanging around his neck. You notice that he walks with a kind of importance in his stride; he holds his head just so. His shirt is plain black today. His jeans are ripped.

There's another customer in today, and you don't know if your store has ever been so busy. You notice that the man pauses as he sees this other person - a red-haired woman in her forties who is stinking your store out with her horrid perfume - and proceeds down another aisle. He nods his head as he passes, something you assume is a greeting. You bow your head back.

He stays for an hour. He doesn't buy anything.

The next time you see him, you figure you should say something.

"My name is Shigeaki," you say, and he turns, a little startled. You can feel your cheeks reddening but they always do that so you ignore them.

"Ryo," is all he says, his voice deep and husky. He goes back to running his hand over the spines of the books. You're not sure what else to say, so you return to the counter and flip through one of the newer books.

You're ever so aware of him. It drives you a little crazy. When he comes around the corner with two books in his hands you perk up a little, and you don't know why. It's only now that you realise he's not wearing those sunglasses, and you can see his eyes for the first time. His eyes are of the deepest brown, strange emotions swimming in them as he gazes at you.

He buys both books, and gives you a tiny smile that makes your heart skip a beat and you stare down at your chest as he leaves, wondering if whatever had just happened was life-threatening. Maybe you should see a doctor.

It turns out that your heart keeps doing strange things when Ryo is around. When he walks into the store, your heart jumps a little. When he looks at you, it beats faster. When he smiles, it almost stops. His smile though... it's kind of beautiful. You see it for the first time when you've knocked a bunch of books to the floor because of your usual clumsiness. You hear a small chuckle from somewhere to your left and turn as much as you can with so many books in your arms, and he's trying to hide a smile. You glare a little, and he smirks, his eyes dancing as he raises his eyebrows. It's then that your heart decides to jump again.

Maybe it has something to do with him.

He comes in almost every week, wandering around the store until he finds something. Normally it's one book; sometimes two. Sometimes nothing at all.

He starts taking his sunglasses off as he walks through the door. You like it better that way.

Your first real conversation is when Ryo hands you a book he wants to buy. You look down at it. It's one of your favourites - it's about a travelling circus - and you can't help but feel a little sad that it's found a new owner. He's peering curiously at you, and you figure that you should say something.

"I love this book," you say, and his face lights up.

"Really?" You nod, and can't help but smile at the way the lights in Ryo's eyes seem to dance. "Tell me about it?"

And so you hang out your old 'out to lunch' sign on the door and take him into the back room. You barely ever use this room anymore, but you still keep it clean just in case. It's a reading room, and you've thrown in old armchairs and cushions to make it cozy; there's a low circular table in the middle with hundreds of coffee rings dotting the worn surface. The smell of coffee permeates both the tiny room and the rest of the store as you carefully percolate it in the small kitchenette to the side. Ryo sinks into the blue armchair with a sigh.

"Nothing better than the smell of coffee," he murmurs, and you look up from taking the percolator off the stove.

"Except the smell of books," you say, and he looks thoughtful. The coffee is strong, but it seems as though Ryo likes it that way. He hums a little as you hand it to him.

"I haven't had coffee like this before," he says.

You take a seat across from him, and lightly stir a teaspoon of sugar into your cup. "My father used to make it like this," you say, remembering sitting on your fathers lap as he read you bedtime stories, their colourful pictures slowly lulling you to sleep whilst the scent of coffee surrounds you.

Ryo nods, smiling a little wistfully. "You were telling me about the book?" he prompts, and holds it up as he sips his coffee.

So you launch into an explanation, your words painting pictures as you tell him about the storyline. It's a circus, run by gypsies, with lions and dogs and acrobats and clowns and monkeys walking on tightropes; there's a love story to tie it all together - she lives in a small town with a strict father; he is part of the circus as an acrobat. Neither want to leave their homes, but neither want to leave the other. It's all been told before but you like this writer; likes the way it feels like you're inside the book, nestled among the words.

You finish talking, belatedly realising that your coffee has grown cold. Ryo is staring at you, his eyes strangely soft and you look away, back to your coffee. It isn't that cold, and you find that you can still drink it.

"Sounds interesting," Ryo murmurs, looking down at the cover of the book again. "Can't wait to read it, now."

You laugh a little, and his eyes are back on you right away, a funny little smile on his face. You cough. You're not feeling well - it's your stomach this time; it feels like it's flipping upon itself over and over.

He suddenly checks his watch and curses under his breath, and you forget about your stomach because he's standing with a regretful look on his face. "I've gotta go," he says, but holds up the book. "Thanks for talking to me, though."

"No problem," you say, and lead him back to the door. "Anytime." You mean it.

He smiles that wide smile of his that lights up his entire face, and waves. "See you next week."

You really like him.

You like the way he runs his hands over the books. Normally you hate it; you hate it when people flick through them roughly with their sweaty hands, but Ryo is different. Ryo seems to cherish the books, his fingers almost caressing the flaking covers and yellowing pages. You kind of have to admire the rather dainty way he fingers at the pages, at the drawings at the start of each chapter. He takes in everything as it comes, and you find that you really like that. You really like him.

There goes your heart again.

He doesn't come the next week, and there's a little empty part inside of you that you can't quite place. When he walks through your door and smiles widely, you figure it out.

"Hey," he says casually, and you smile, your heart fluttering a little.

"Hi."

He doesn't buy anything today, but that's okay. There's another person in the store again - you're starting to feel quite popular - and they stare a little at him as he passes. You wrinkle your eyebrows in confusion.

Ryo leaves with a wave and another smile, and you know you've got a ridiculous smile plastered onto your own face when the other customer interrupts, dumping her stack of books onto your desk with a thump. You stare down at the books a little blankly until you realise that she's trying to buy them.

As you check the prices of them you hear her tittering to herself and look up. "Sorry?"

She looks a little flustered. "The young man in here just now - was it who I thought it was?" she asks, eyes wide. You just shrug your shoulders.

"Who did you think he was?" you ask, going back to your work.

"Nishikido Ryo," she all but whispers, and you pause.

"Ryo?"

She nods frantically. "Nishikido Ryo. You don't know of him?" You shake your head. "How can you not-- He's everywhere," she explains, and you feel a little stupid at the way she's looking at you. "He's in a band-- Kanjani8. He's one of their guitarists," she continues, her voice taking on a dreamy kind of tone. "He's amazing..."

"He's just... Ryo," you say, a little surprised. No, surprised wasn't the word. Shocked? ...Upset that Ryo hadn't told you? Yes. That was more like it. You shake your head, trying to rid the thoughts creeping up on you, and bid the customer goodbye. She's still mumbling to herself as she leaves.

That night after you've closed the shop you head down to the nearest convenience store. You don't really know what you're doing, but you're in front of the magazine section before you've really thought about it. You stare at the covers, at all the perfect idol smiles staring back at you, and you almost turn heel and leave but you're stopped. You're stopped by a familiar face.

It's Ryo, looking up at you with those eyes of his from the cover of a magazine. There are about six other men around him but you don't pay attention to their faces. Ryo is leaning against a guitar and wearing a flashy kind of outfit, silver and black; his hair has been styled.

You don't even realise you've bought the magazine until you're back home and stirring your dinner, staring down at the front cover. At least, you hope you've bought it and didn't just walk out with it.

Kanjani8, huh.

They look like a mismatched bunch of men, you think. They look kind of rough yet gentle at the same time, and you ponder about them as you sip at your dinner. That magazine becomes everything to you as you flip to the interview inside, gazing at yet another photograph of Ryo. This Ryo is nothing like the Ryo you know; he's confident and seems a little stuck up. You don't know what to think.

You keep that magazine under your desk for the rest of the week, waiting for him to come back. And he does come back, that Friday in fact, and you smile at him like you normally do. He tilts his head a little at you and furrows his eyebrows but seems to shake it off, moving to one of the back aisles to look for a new book.

You're not entirely sure what to say to him - how do you bring this up? - but he's already walking back up to you. He leans his elbows on your desk and all you can do is peer down at him curiously. "Yes?" you ask, and he smirks a little.

"What's wrong with you?" he asks bluntly, and you start.

"What?"

"Something's wrong," Ryo says. "Normally you get this half-smile when I say hi but I got nothing today." You blink. "So," he continues, standing back up again, "Spill."

With slightly shaky hands you pull the magazine out from your drawer and slide it over to him. His amused expression melts into confusion and finally something you can't place and then it's like a slamming door; his face just drains of all emotion so fast that you almost miss it. "Are you okay?" you ask, leaning forward a little.

There's a tiny piece of sadness in his eyes when he looks up again, but he sighs and shakes his hair out of his face and then it's gone again. You know it's an act.

He's about to say something but you interrupt. "I just saw it the other day. Freaked me out a little, is all," you say, laughing nervously. He's watching your face, looking for a sign to tell him that you're lying.

"You don't know who I am?" he asks, and cocks his head.

"I didn't," you answer, moving closer and bringing the magazine back so you can see the cover; so you can see the fake Ryo staring up at you while the real one gazes at you from the other side of the desk. "A woman told me yesterday."

"I knew I should have worn my sunglasses last time," he mutters under his breath. "Sorry. Did she cause you much trouble?"

"What are you apologising for?" you ask, confused. Ryo rubs the back of his neck and laughs a little.

"S-Sometimes the fans can get... a little crazy," Ryo says.

"No, she was fine."

"...Ah, good."

You're really quite interested in him, though. You want to know more; want to know about his life and what he's seen. He's like a book, and your fingers itch to turn his pages; to read his story.

You find yourself back in the reading room, sitting cross-legged on the floor as he lies next to you. His eyes are closed and he sighs. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he says, and you peer down at him.

You don't really know what to say. You want to tell him that it's okay. You want to yell at him for not telling you. You want to say so many things but you don't; you just sit there and wait for him to talk again.

"I thought that maybe I could hide here for a while," Ryo murmurs, and you listen. "I found this store and felt... I don't know-- I felt like I was kind of invisible," he explains. "I didn't have to live up to expectations or any kind of image; didn't have to pretend anymore."

"Books don't judge," you add, and he smiles and opens his eyes.

"Yeah," he says softly. "Neither do you."

You look down at him in shock, and he's gazing back at you with gentle eyes. Your heart skips a beat again and you press a hand to your chest. He sits up, and cautiously brings a hand to grasp lightly at your wrist. Your skin suddenly feels ice cold and like it's on fire all at once and you jump a little.

He's very close now and you can't breathe. "Are you alright?" he asks.

"It's my heart," you explain, and worry flashes through his eyes. "I don't know-- it keeps jumping and beating really fast. Nothing like this has ever happened before," you say, confused when a tiny little smile appears on Ryo's face. "What?" you snap. You don't know why your health is funny to him.

"When does it tend to happen?" he asks, his fingers stroking little patterns onto your wrists.

You stop and think. It's doing it now. Your heart is racing and your stomach is twisting; your skin is tingling from where Ryo's fingers are. "When... Whenever you're around," you murmur, and Ryo hums.

"You're blaming me for your heart problem?" Ryo chuckles.

"It only happens when you're around me," you say. "So yes, I think it's you."

Ryo stares at you a while, his fingers sliding up to your hand and threading his fingers through your own. You blink down at it; he's holding your hand. You don't realise he's shifted a little closer and his other hand is now at the nape of your neck until he lightly pulls at the ends of your hair and your eyes flick back to his.

Your stomach is flipping and your heart is beating so fast it feels like it's about to leap out of your chest. His eyes hold your own as he leans a little closer and you realise that you're holding his hand as tightly as he's holding yours.

Ryo kisses you first, and your heart stops. Everything stops.

It's only a short kiss but it's more wonderful than you had ever thought it would be; better than you had ever read.

Ryo winks a little and you have to laugh. "Guess what?" he asks, and you raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You make my heart skip a beat every time I see you," Ryo says, and you laugh. "Shut up! I'm trying to be all romantic and stuff."

It's like you've written your own kind of love story. It's only the first chapter, really, but you hope that there will be more to add later. Ryo is sprawled on your lounge room floor, a stack of books next to him as he looks through them, and you smile as you hand him a cup of coffee.

You never expected this to happen to you. You never thought your luck would turn around. You laugh a little as you run your fingers over the horseshoe on your bookshelf that night, and smile to yourself.

It's your own little love story, and the two of you will continue to write it together.

 

\--the end  



End file.
